Confronting Without Being Confrontational

Good morning,

During the sermon on Sunday I mentioned that we need to seek to both avoid confrontation and being confrontational when we talk to people about Jesus.  That’s not easy to do, because at some point when we talk to people about Jesus we have to talk to them about sin.  It does people no good to tell them that they need a Savior without telling what they need saved from!

So how can we confront people about sin without being confrontational?  Here are a few thoughts that I have found to be helpful in my own faith journey:

1.      We must never confront sin as a means of elevating ourselves and condemning others.  Our motivation must be to spiritually encourage a struggling person to come back within the will of God.

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.

Galatians 6:1

2.     Timing is very important.  We need to spend a lot of time in prayer, asking God to help us discern when the person will be most open to hearing what we have to say.  If the person is busy, tired, or emotional, chances aren’t great for you to have a productive conversation with them.

Whoever obeys his command will come to no harm, and the wise heart will know the proper time and procedure.

Ecclesiastes 8:5

3.     Show them the Scriptures.   This one is pretty self-explanatory!

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

Hebrews 4:12

4.     Reaffirm our care and our love for them.  We correct our children because we love them.  We also reaffirm our love for them after we have corrected them!  The same is true for anyone that we talk to about their sin.  In the New Testament we have two letters that Paul wrote to the church at Corinth.  If you are familiar with them you know that he dealt with a number of sin issues in the church.  Here is what he writes to them in 2 Corinthians 2:4:

For I wrote you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you.

Unfortunately, there are times when we simply can’t avoid confrontation, if only because the other person is seeking it with us.  However, we can always strive to avoid being confrontational ourselves.

Here’s what’s happening:

1.      TONIGHT - Youth Group meets at the schoolhouse at 6:30 pm.

2.     TONIGHT – Ladies Quilt Knotting meets in the lobby at 6:30 pm.

3.     SATURDAY – Youth Group Service Project.  The youth will be baking apple pies to be auctioned off at the Lighthouse Auction.  Meeting at the Fite home (69 Ford Road, Nottingham) at 10 am.  Youth should bring a rolling pin and either a hat or hairnet.  If the weather is dry much of the food prep will be done outside, so dress accordingly.  Lunch is provided.  Pickup is 1 pm.  Please let Devon Fite know if your teen is participating.

4.     SUNDAY - Youth Group Luncheon

5.     Next Saturday, 11/1 – Harvest Party at the church starting at 6 pm.  A light dinner will be served and then we’ll have a number of activities for folks to enjoy…the giant slide, a hayride, a campfire and the world-famous kid’s dessert bake off.  Rain Date is after the worship service on Sunday.

6.     If you are interested in being a part of a small group in 2026, please talk to me soon.

On Sunday we will look at a unique and difficult time in the early church - the sin of Ananias and Sapphira. We'll look at what their sin was, why God dealt with it so harshly, and what we can learn from it for our lives today.

Scott